<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Godfather Prank by ReachFor24</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395003">The Godfather Prank</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReachFor24/pseuds/ReachFor24'>ReachFor24</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Hunting Trip [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Check Please! (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Possibly Pre-Slash, Prank Wars, The Godfather Trilogy References</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:27:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReachFor24/pseuds/ReachFor24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Bitty and Dex come back to the Haus with a dead deer, Bitty offers up a devilish prank idea. One that will cement Holster's and Ransom's places in the SMH history books. </p>
<p>I didn't plan to write this, but Sakon76 and LynxMadrid asked and I figured why not. Seems like an interesting fic to write at the very least.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam "Holster" Birkholtz &amp; Justin "Ransom" Oluransi, Adam "Holster" Birkholtz &amp; Larissa "Lardo" Duan &amp; Justin "Ransom" Oluransi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Hunting Trip [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Godfather Prank</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynxMadrid/gifts">LynxMadrid</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakon76/gifts">Sakon76</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Up in their attic, Ransom grabbed his laptop and landing himself on Holster’s bottom bunk as Holster closed the door, taking a nearby desk chair, sitting backwards as Ransom pulled up his spreadsheet. Holster knew which one he’d pull up, titled ‘LAX Bros Pranking Opportunities 14-15'. With the prank war going on since Johnson was a Frog, they knew they had a reputation to uphold. Johnson wasn’t even sure what started the prank war, with speculation running wild. Some thought it was an attempt to prove who was the ultimate Canadian sport while others thought it was a rejection at a kegster between a LAX bro and one of their old teammates.  </p>
<p>The reason for the prank war wasn’t relevant, as the LAX bros just got the hockey team good last time, wrapping the Haus in plastic wrap. Including any and all windows they could have used to get inside.  </p>
<p>Shitty was livid, with the prank happening during a roadie to Princeton. Once inside, after Bitty and Dex pulled out their respective pocketknives and slowly cut through the plastic, Shitty was somehow even angrier, though it was hard to tell if it was from the prank itself or if it was from the ecological waste of plastic. Either way, Ransom and Holster knew they needed to dish out payback.  </p>
<p>With Ransom’s spreadsheet opened up, they knew when the perfect opportunity would strike. The LAX house's windows are in much better shape than the Haus’s, all of their windows being replaced within the last year. So, unlike the whines the Haus makes when someone tries to open a window, theirs opened silently. As they planned it out, they knew it’d be perfect. The LAX bros are coming back from a day-trip roadie to Hanover, NH tomorrow night, where they’re expected to win. They’ll come home, exhausted but keyed up, and throw a party. Now normally, the Haus would just host a party the next day, much louder just to mess with their hangovers and show off. But now, they’ll get to hear the screams of LAX bros as one wakes up with a deer head in their bed.  </p>
<p>With the plan coming together, they just needed to get their materials. </p>
<p><b> *** </b> </p>
<p>The plan in place, they thunder back downstairs, reaching the first floor and rushing towards the kitchen. Where they expected to find Bitty, they found Lardo instead, making herself a cup of tea. Nodding to her in respect, they moved to the living room, finding Bitty and Dex passed out on the couch as the rest of the former occupants of the living room had left, not even disturbed from the duo’s stomping down the stairs.  </p>
<p>They went back to the kitchen, with Holster taking a seat at the kitchen table as Ransom grabbed two Gatorades out of the fridge, tossing the orange one to Holster as he kept the light blue one. With Lardo sat at the table, relaxing into her tea, Holster spoke first, attempting to lower his voice in order to keep their two hunters from waking up.  </p>
<p>“How long have they been out?” </p>
<p>Lardo breathed into her tea, taking in the herbal blend she steeped, before responding. “Couple hours. Everyone in the living room left once they saw them passed out.” </p>
<p>Holster could smell the tea, a peppermint herbal tea that means Lardo is now at her most relaxed, not needing to relax. As such, now would be the perfect time to ask for help for their prank. </p>
<p>Ransom must have made the same conclusion, as he was the first to speak. “So, Lardo, our most illustrious manager.” </p>
<p>“Our queen of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team.” Holster added. </p>
<p>“Master of beer pong and flip cup.” </p>
<p>“What.” Lardo interrupted before Holster could add another endearing phrase.  </p>
<p>“Well...” Holster began. </p>
<p>“We were wondering...” </p>
<p>“If you could help us with our next prank.” </p>
<p>With Holster’s request finally given, Lardo leaned back into her chair, cradling her mug, as she thought it over. After an agonizing amount of time, which couldn’t have been more than two minutes, she spoke again.  </p>
<p>“One condition.” </p>
<p>Holster raised an eyebrow, and assumed Ransom mirrored the move, given the smirk on Lardo’s face. “I get the antlers.” </p>
<p>While Holster had no idea what she’ll use the antlers for, he knew it was a small price to pay. Hell, the antlers would just get in the way of sneaking the head into the LAX house. </p>
<p>“Deal.” Holster said, somewhat surprised by the unison as Ransom said the same thing at the same time.  </p>
<p>“Bro.” </p>
<p>“Bro!” </p>
<p>“BRO!” </p>
<p>They heard Lardo’s sigh, showing mild annoyance but the smirk on her face showed it was for show, appreciating their antics. But with the sleeping hunters in the living room, still napping from the day’s hunt, she got up and lightly smacked both D-men before they could get any louder.  </p>
<p>With their bro-chant cut short, Lardo sat back down and Ransom and Holster brought her in on their plan.  </p>
<p><b> *** </b> </p>
<p>The next day, after his afternoon classes, Holster headed back the Haus, mildly keyed up in anticipation of this prank. Even if the plan hinged on the LAX bros to win their game, Dartmouth is having a bad season and it shouldn’t be close. And if they lose, they’ll find a way to keep the head until their next opportunity.  </p>
<p>Walking into the Haus, he walks through the first floor, heading straight to the back of the Haus, finding Dex using a hacksaw on the second antler, with Lardo holding the first one and waiting for the, much more excited than Holster would have expected. Once the second antler is removed from the deer head, he hands the antler to Lardo, who immediately left the Haus, presumably heading to the art department. With the deer head, Dex gives it to Holster, telling him ‘good luck’ before heading back inside.  </p>
<p>Carrying the head, Holster walked towards the attic, where they already had their supplies ready. With Lardo as a lookout for the bottom floor, she was able to borrow from the art department a tall enough step ladder and, if needed, a rope to help lift the head to the SML house’s porch overhang. Though as he walked up the stairs from the second floor to his and Ransom’s attic, he doesn’t think they’ll need the rope.  </p>
<p>Opening the door, Holster saw Ransom looking over their plan for the night at his desk. It wasn’t too difficult, simplicity helping with proper execution. Him, Ransom, and Lardo, clad in black and wearing gloves, will wait until the LAX house is dead, party finished and residents asleep. Once they’re asleep, Lardo will keep as lookout on the main level, checking for any stirring of guests sleeping downstairs as. Ransom and Holster will climb onto the roof from the ladder they’re borrowing from the art department, carry the deer head, and place it under the sheets with the team’s captain. If the captain is getting laid (which from what they’ve heard is unlikely, with Chad D being a romantic instead, wining and dining beforehand), they’ll move to another resident. If the captain locked his window, they’ll find an open window. But they want to deposit the deer head with the captain.  </p>
<p>Holster noticed Ransom’s anxiousness beginning to rise. Having none of that, Holster dropped the deer head on a plastic sheet they ‘acquired’ from the art department to wrap the deer head’s base on (not wanting to stain the victim’s sheets with any leftover blood) and brought Ransom from the start of his freakout.  </p>
<p>Wrapping himself around Ransom’s back, a grounding trick that always seemed to work with his D-man, Holster began to whisper. “The plan’s perfect, nothing to worry about. If the police see us, we got Lardo and my giant white ass to talk to them.” Ransom chuckled at the last sentence, the anxious tension oozing out of his shoulders.  </p>
<p>“Thanks, Holtsy.” </p>
<p>“No problem, Rans. Let’s nap now so we don’t sleep through out window of opportunity.” </p>
<p>Ransom just nodded, as he got up from his desk chair, both of them stripping their own clothes off as they crashed on the bottom bunk, down to their underwear. Holster in his undershirt and boxers as Ransom wore his tank undershirt and a pair of trunks. Leading his D-man to the bottom bunk, Holster cuddled up behind Ransom, keeping him close as they fell asleep in the small, Twin-XL bed.  </p>
<p><b> *** </b> </p>
<p>When Holster woke up next, he noticed first that he was still cuddled with Ransom, his face pressed into his tight, curly hair. Holster can smell the coconut product he uses for his hair. Moving his head up to look over towards his digital alarm clock, something he’s been chirped for having for years, and saw the red digits displaying the time.  </p>
<p>9:52pm </p>
<p>He knew the LAX bros party, if it’s gotten to full swing yet, won’t end until 2am at the very earliest, typical for a weekday party.  </p>
<p>As such, they still had time to sleep.  </p>
<p>Knowing this, Holster made sure his alarm was set for 2am, and settled himself back behind Ransom, content to sleep until they need to get going.  </p>
<p>The next time Holster wakes up, it’s to his alarm blaring at him. Hitting it to turn it off, Holster climbed past Ransom, getting dressed in his black clothes. Turning around, seeing how peaceful Ransom was, asleep in the bottom bunk, Holster almost wanted to let him sleep the night away. But he needed to wake his bro up for this, not wanting him to miss this prank.  </p>
<p>With this in mind, Holster shook Ransom until he began to wake up. “Hey Rans, time for our prank.” </p>
<p>Ransom blinked his eyes awake, stretching out the remaining sleep in his limbs, as he got up out of Holster’s bunk and wordlessly began dressing. Once they were all dressed in black, save for their balaclava masks, they headed downstairs, careful to avoid the squeakier steps as the rest of the Haus should be asleep.  </p>
<p>Reaching the kitchen, they find Lardo with a mug of coffee, dressed in black and waking herself up. Ransom went straight for the coffee pot, pouring out two mugs as Holster went to the fridge, finding three plates of dinner that Bitty saved for them all.  </p>
<p>Grabbing the plates (and the preferred heating instructions on top), he unwrapped the plastic wrap off them and put the plates in the oven, following the warming instructions.  </p>
<p>As their late dinners warmed, Holster sat at the table, taking the coffee Ransom poured for him, already with a perfect amount of sugar and creamer. The three sat in companionable silence as they woke up from their respective slumbers.  </p>
<p>With the timer for their dinners going off, Holster turned off the timer and, with a kitchen towel, grabbed the plates from the oven. As the plates cooled down enough to touch, he fished out flatware for the three to use, grabbing forks and knives for the steak they’re about to eat.  </p>
<p>Soon, he transferred the plates to each person, with them silently digging into their dinners. Lardo was the first to notice the difference in the steak though.  </p>
<p>“Is this from the deer Bitty and Dex killed?” </p>
<p>Holster paused, seeing Ransom do so as well in his peripheral vision, before he chewed the piece of steak in his mouth more carefully. As he tasted the steak, he noticed it seemed fresher, different than the supermarket steaks he’s used to. He also noticed it tasting different, maybe gamey, like earthier.  </p>
<p>Ransom noticed this too but responded faster than Holster. “Yep, tastes like it.” </p>
<p>With that out of the way, they continued to eat, polishing off their plate as Bitty’s cooking was always delicious. Once finished, Ransom, much more awake than earlier, collected the plates and utensils and began washing, with Lardo drying, as Holster looked out the front windows, taking a peek at the LAX house.  </p>
<p>Completely dark across the street. Perfect.  </p>
<p>Holster walked back into the kitchen, noting the time on the microwave, 2:39am, and grabbed water bottles for the three of them. With the dishes put away once Holster closed the door, he passed the bottles to the other two and began to speak.  </p>
<p>“LAX bros have finished their party. We’ll strike at 3, okay?” </p>
<p>Ransom and Lardo nodded, as they sat back down at the table. Holster went back to the attic, grabbing the deer head, keeping the base wrapped in plastic sheeting as he tip toed his way downstairs. With the head, he walked into the kitchen, setting the deer head on the floor as he grabbed the second mug of coffee Ransom poured for him.  </p>
<p>Once the microwave clock hit 3am, Holster downed the rest of his coffee, taking a large sip from his water bottle, and headed for the deer. Exiting through the front door, he walked down the porch and stood on the walkway to the Haus, with Lardo holding the rope he doubts they’ll need and Ransom coming from the side with the step ladder.  </p>
<p>With everybody together, they pulled down their balaclava masks and walked across the street.  </p>
<p>Ransom and Holster hid behind the tree that stood in front of the LAX house as Lardo creeped around, checking for movement on the first floor. Finding nothing, she reported back, giving the clear for Ransom and Holster to move.  </p>
<p>Ransom set the ladder to the side of their porch, in a corner most people looking out the windows of the LAX house wouldn’t see and climbed to the porch overhang. Holster internally commended Ransom for his soft footfalls, climbing onto the overhang with minimal noise. Holster tried to do the same, balancing the deer head on his shoulder as he climbed the ladder. Once close enough to the porch overhang, Ransom grabbed the head, settling it on the overhang as Holster climbed off the ladder and onto the porch.  </p>
<p>The ladder wobbled as Holster got onto the overhang, wanting to fall over, but thankfully stood upright. With a breath of relief, Holster and Ransom peered into the windows in the front of the LAX house, spotting Chad D in the left window. Seeing him asleep, alone in his room, Ransom signaled for Holster to join him. Quietly, Ransom tested the window, finding it unlocked.  </p>
<p>With their entrance planned, Ransom opened the window just enough for a head to peek through. Holster stuck his head inside the room, finding a clear path to climb inside, though surprised by the strong stench of Axe body spray. Barely able to not cough from the stench, Holster removed his head, gently closing the window to silence his upcoming speaking.  </p>
<p>“Chad D must think Axe is Febreze, smells like a middle school locker room in there.” </p>
<p>Ransom winced at the idea of the stench as Holster continued.  </p>
<p>“You wanna go in or should I? Your cat-like in your steps, so less likely to wake him up.” </p>
<p>Ransom, while visibly appreciating the compliment on his sneaking abilities, grimaced at the idea of stepping in there. “Not sure I won’t cough and get caught, bro.” </p>
<p>Holster nodded, knowing how Ransom will have coughing fits from strong smells. With that, Holster decided. “I’ll go in. Keep a lookout here, bro.” </p>
<p>Ransom just nodded, opening the window enough for Holster to sneak his body inside.  </p>
<p>Grabbing the deer head off the porch roof, Holster tried to carefully slide inside. As he bumped on a small table he didn’t initially see, he almost knocked over a beer stein of school supplies, but the makeshift holder stayed upright, making minimal sound. With a silent sigh of relief, Holster snuck his way inside, deer head in hand.  </p>
<p>Careful as to what he may step on, Holster tip toed through the room, reaching the side of the double bed Chad D wasn’t sleeping on. With the sheets and comforter loose on the bed, Holster was easily able to tuck the deer head under the sheets, the nose just sticking out. With the head covered, Holster retraced his steps, reaching the window and climbing back onto the porch overhang.  </p>
<p>With his heart beating faster than for any game he’s ever played, Holster took a seat on the porch as Ransom closed the window. With the prank in place, all they had to do was get back into the Haus and wait for the screams of LAX bros.  </p>
<p><b> *** </b> </p>
<p>Ransom, Holster, and Lardo all sat on the Haus’s living room couch, trying their hardest to stay silent as they warred in Smash Bros. Even as Lardo kicked ass as Marth, with Holster spamming his thunderbolt as Pikachu and Ransom running around as Captain Falcon, they enjoyed this moment. Playing around as their prank to be found. Even with the cold, they had opened the windows facing the LAX house, waiting for the screams to begin.  </p>
<p>As the sun just barely began to peak, practice today being in the evening, Holster heard someone head down the stairs. Given the lighter footfalls, Holster figured it was Bitty, up much earlier than expected for a Wednesday. But Holster ignored it.  </p>
<p>That is until he heard Bitty humming to a Beyoncé song in his head, loud enough for Holster and the others on the couch to hear but not loud enough to wake the Haus. As Holster was already out of stocks and Lardo was working on Ransom’s last two, he got up and trotted to the kitchen, curious as to what Bitty is doing at around 6:30am.  </p>
<p>As he entered the kitchen, he saw Bitty close the open window in the kitchen and a collection of meats laid out on the counters. Holster spoke up as Bitty was reaching into the spice cabinet. “Whatcha up to, Bitty?” </p>
<p>Bitty visibly jumped, turning around to face Holster. “Jesus, you scared me! Just getting ready to ground some meat. Gotta mix in some fattier meat with the venison to make good burger.” </p>
<p>Holster looked back onto the counter, noticing the lean venison and a fatty piece of pork. Holster nodded before taking a seat at the kitchen table, watching Bitty do his work on making ground meat.  </p>
<p>As Bitty began cubing the meat to be ground, pulling out a meat grinder that Holster assumes was shipped up here from Georgia, he heard a shriek outside. Holster smiled, knowing who the shriek was coming from.  </p>
<p>Grabbing a few beers out of the fridge, he passed one to Lardo and Ransom, keeping the last one, and walked out to their porch, watching the events unfold.  </p>
<p>As the shrieks continued, Holster watched as the LAX house woke up, lights flicking on throughout and the LAX bros, in pain from their hangovers, tried to figure out why someone was screaming bloody murder.  </p>
<p>Bitty stepped out with the trio, a jacket wrapped on his shoulders and holding a bottle of water, watching the chaos unfold.  </p>
<p>The screams continued as stragglers from the previous night’s party began to stumble out of the LAX house and toward their own dorms. Suddenly, once it seemed the last stragglers fell out of the LAX house, Chad D came running out of the house, arms in the air as he screeched from the top of his lungs, running away from his team’s house.  </p>
<p>Holster bust out laughing at the sight, joined by the others at the sight of the LAX bro’s revered leader running away. After a few moments, with Chad D’s screams getting quieter the farther he ran away, they began to hear different exclamations from the other LAX bros. Ranging from a series of loud expletives to a simple “Bro, what the fuck!?”  </p>
<p>Soon, LAX bros began to file out the house, deer head in hand as they looked out towards Frat Row. Spotting the collection of hockey players in front of the Haus, they began to march across the street, obviously fuming behind their hangovers.  </p>
<p>As they reached the Haus’s lawn, Holster heard the front door bang open, Jack passing the group standing on the porch, fire extinguisher in hand. Aiming the nozzle at the group of LAX bros, the herd stopped in their tracks. Quietly, they dropped the deer head, walking back to the LAX house, the screams of Chad D echoing throughout Samwell’s campus.  </p>
<p>With the LAX bros leaving, they all headed inside, Bitty to the kitchen as the rest went to the living room, greeted by a naked Shitty storming down the stairs. “You beauts! You fucking fantastic brahs! Best! Prank! Ever! This will go down in SMH history for generations!” </p>
<p>Holster looked around. Lardo had a smug look and Ransom seemed pleased with himself. A look that was a lot better than his anxious look maybe 16 hours ago. Holster looked at Ransom, catching his eye and sharing a mental wavelength as they chanted together. </p>
<p>“BEST! PRANK! EVER!” </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>